Patterns That Kill
What is a Pattern?
I refer to a Pattern as any human behavior that repeats itself again and again in interchanges with others throughout the day…week…year and life. These Patterns are structured by the ego to defend and protect against vulnerability, to keep others at bay and the individual safe but small; and most often sabotage the individual realizing results or reaching their potential in any given situation. Each Pattern has a breathing pattern, eye movement, feeling set (i.e. sad, angry, scared…) and thinking structure to go with it.
Here are a few examples that identify patterns:
A brilliant, young executive is positioning himself for a new leadership role in the company and has all the talent and ability, but on occasion will go to share information and say things inside-out and upside-down, confusing everyone in the room. What do you think that does to his promotional possibilities?
A woman who is bright, successful, contributing to her community and the people in it in huge ways and she will not ask for what she wants, so she’s constantly manipulating people to give her what she wants instead of allowing them the privilege of supporting her. She gets to remain in control and the people around her feel helpless and small because they are not held powerfully; she gets to be the “big” one all the time and as a result, others feel inadequate.
Tune in for the next post as we continue the conversation about Patterns and the role they play in our life…
Therese Kienast, MCC, CPCC
Founder, Radical Leadership
